I’ve reached the conclusion that I’m destined to be alone forever. That I’m meant to stay unloved.
I’ve been single for the best part of a decade. In that decade I have been on a numeral of zero dates.
What’s wrong with me? A question I find myself debating on a frequency.
Am I ugly? Am I too fat? Am I too dark? Am I boring?
What is it?
It saddens me because all I want to do is love and be loved. Is that such a big ask?
The more time goes on, the more alone I grow.
I’ve become a cynic. I glare at couples on the street and pass secret judgement on them when the express displays of affection. I say it disgusts me, but truthfully I envy them.
I want someone to hold onto my hand like it’s their lifeline. I want someone to kiss me, graze my neck, stare deeply into my eyes. I want some one to tell me that they love me.
Why am so I unlovable? Why am I the one still on the shelf? Why am I the one that no one wants?
Why am I destined to be alone? My heart spills over with so much love, but there’s no one to receive it.
I feel empty, lost… I don’t feel whole.
What is wrong with… me?