The leaves crunched under my feet as I hurried down the street.
The wind bit at my red eyes and caressed the tears that had long since dried.
This had been the worst day of my life.
I just wanted a hole to appear underneath me and suck me inside of it.
How could so many things go wrong?
I just wanted to hide away from life. Empty my bank account, book a flight and start again somewhere. Somewhere where I didn’t have to be me anymore.
My hands were shaking. Anger, fear and anxiety all balled up into one.
This was so unfair. I wanted to throw myself on the floor, kicking my arms and legs like a toddler.
Everyone was laughing at me. I could sense it. No where was safe.
I didn’t feel right. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t breathe. I needed someone to help me.
I stopped outside a shop and held onto the wall.
The familiar feeling of a panic attack beginning, rose inside of me.
I just had to breathe.
But I couldn’t.
I felt sick.
Why was this happening?
I felt myself falling. The world was crashing into me.
Why wouldn’t this end? What had I done to deserve this?
I just wanted it to stop.
I needed silence.
I needed the noise to end.
A hand reached out to me breaking through the storm.
“Are you okay?”
I looked up and for the first time in a long time I began to feel a sense of calmness.