25.05.18

My hand ran through the grass. I was in utter bliss.

All I wanted to do was lie here forever, with the sun beating down on me.

All my struggles were lost in the wind. I was happy.

Why couldn’t I stay here forever.

A shadow formed over me, blocking the rays of the sun.

It was George.

I took off my shades to scold him.

His big gummy smile beamed down on me.

I couldn’t be mad at him. I sat up and scooped him into my arms. He giggled.

I lived to hear him laugh. It made my heart beat.

To think this ball of sunshine had once lived inside of me.

They say that a mother’s love was the most strongest love, just looking at my son I knew that was true.

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21.05.18

The pain bit at my stomach, I wanted to claw at it until the pain disappeared.

Why was this happening to me, I screamed as I got in all fours and rocked softly from side to side.

Another stabbing pain attacked me and I curled my toes.

This was too much to bare, I knew that people went through this everyday, but that didn’t soothe the pain away.

If only I had been more careful then I wouldn’t be in the situation that I was in now.

Tears began to form at the corner of my eyes. I knew I shouldn’t have said yes to that second helping of food.

My stomach was a mess right now.

20.05.18

All I want to do is sit down with a nice cold glass of orangeade and rest my feet.

It had been a long day. I was tired. My back ached something serious and it was begging for a massage.

I ran the knife through a fresh sheet of tissue. The crimson streaks of blood soaked into it, as it wiped the knife clean.

I made sure to wipe the handle making sure that no prints were left;I was no longer a rookie at this, there was no place for mistakes.

I placed the knife back in its slot and stepped over the body.

In and out in less than 20, I was getting better at this.

The cool air hit me as I stepped outside and made my way towards my car, that I had parked a few streets away.

I inhaled the sweet smells of freshly mown lawns. I did love spring, it truly was the most beautiful of all seasons.

19.05.18

I had never known a love like this before.

The kind of love that makes you feel as if you might suffocate if the person that means more to you than anything else in the world is not near to you.

I had never known it before him.

I had been all alone for such a long time. I thought that I was destined to be alone forever, that there wasn’t someone out there for me.

But like with most things I was wrong.

He came into my life with such force and swept me up in to his storm of love.

I truly had found my soul mate. The person who loved me unconditionally and who knew me more than I knew myself was now apart of my life.

As I stood there before him and the rest of my love ones, a sole tear fell down my cheek.

I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

I had finally found my prince.

18.05.18

Bloodshot red and burning, the tears peppered my eyes.

I rolled over onto my side to check my phone for the umpteenth time.

Still no missed call. No text, nothing. This time it seriously was over.

But why did I feel so broken?

I should be hanging upside down from a chandelier, celebrating my newfound freedom.

It’s not like he was even a catch really. He was the worst kind of human and I was way too good for him.

But he had something about him, that attracted me to him like a fly on shit and I was lost in everything that he was.

I could kick myself now, thinking back in how dumb I had been. How I had hung off every false word that rolled of his tongue.

I wanted to tear my heart out of my chest and stomp on it. I was angry, how could I still pine for someone who had treated me so rotten.

But the heart wants what the heart wants, and it had only been a day.

I would cry for now; allow the streaks of too long worn mascara to run down my cheeks and then build myself back up to a point, where I was strong enough not to go back to him.

16.05.18

The evening air danced over every inch of my exposed flesh.

I crossed and uncrossed my legs as I waited in eager anticipation for my bus.

My stomach was roaring like an untamed lion. If I didn’t get some food inside it within the next couple of minutes I didn’t know what I was going to do.

In all honesty if I did do something crazy, let’s just say I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions.

An abandoned leaf, rustled past me on the pavement. I focused on it until it was out of sight. I envied its freedom.

A lone warrior heading to God know’s where, about to experience a wealth of new opportunities and here I was stuck waiting for the 484 bus at 9:10pm.

This is what hunger, no I mean hunger did to you. I could’ve cooked something, that I knew, but I wanted something salty, greasy. Basically something that was so bad, but felt so good.

I turned up the volume in my headphones, trying to distract my stomach from thoughts of food, but it did no good. The beast was furious.

Where the fuck was this bus!

It felt like someone was taunting me. Playing some really mean games with my emotions.

All I wanted was some food. It wasn’t so much to ask for was it. I mean it was my basic human right to have food shoved into my mouth and digested.

I closed my eyes, allowing the wind to caress my face. It was kind of soothing, but not soothing enough.

Finally after what felt like a millennia, I glimpsed a flash of red in my peripheral.

I felt the beast within stand down.

15.05.16

Lauren’s hands entwined into mine, like how shoelaces bind shoes together.

It was weird how much of a perfect fit her hand was in mine. Like our hands were destined to be together.

She smelt like coconut and jasmine, a combination that you would never think would work, but on her it did. It was almost perfection.

She continued to sing, her voice hitting notes that she didn’t realise that she could reach, and the surprise in her eyes every time she met them amused me.

We were on borrowed time. But it felt like eternity whenever I was with her.

I bent my face down to meet with hers and lovingly kissed her forehead.

It was always her forehead and never her lips. Kissing on the lips was a no no. Once we did that there was no going back.

Something that was nothing more than innocent would be ruined. It would sour everything that we had.

So we stuck to forehead kisses and hand holding.

Stolen moments.

13.05.18

Iona continued to cower behind the rock. Her fingers were trembling and her heartbeat had increased.

The footsteps grew closer.

Iona closed her eyes willing them away.

If only she had listened and not wondered off, she would’ve been safe at base camp; probably on to her second round of food by now.

She felt her belly begin to rumble. The trembles deepened.

Scared it might bring attention to her she willed to stop.

The footsteps that had long since past began to move back towards her.

This was it, it was all going to be over.

She cursed her belly, cursed it with all of her being.

Of all the things in the world she had been let down by the sounds of her digestive system.

Closing her eyes, she awaited her misfortune.

12.05.18

He stood there, his eyes bulging, his face turning red.

He knew that he had been caught in a lie.

His feet began to shuffle and his hands wouldn’t stay still.

His mouth was dry and his palms were sweaty.

He wanted nothing more than to leave.

He wanted to run away and hide and never reappear.

But he had to face up to the truth, there was no hiding from it.

He opened his mouth, and the truth began to pour out.

He felt lighter when it was all over.

He felt free.

He pondered on why he had ever lied in the fist place.

11.05.18

The kite rose higher in the sky, making small loops as it ascended upwards.

Amanda continued running, her little legs pumping with glee as she watched it dance in the sky above her.

It was days like this that made Danny smile. He didn’t get to spend much time with her, but any time he had with her, no matter how long was always precious to him.

Amanda had been harping on for the longest time about kites. Her fascination with them made him smile. He knew that he had to get her one, nothing made him more happier than to see her happy.

“Dad, dad,” she shouted between tired breaths. “Did you see that? Were you watching?”

“Of course I was,” he beamed back at her. “It was amazing.”

He watched her bound off, a streak of blue, red, green and yellow billowing from behind her.

Danny loved days like this.