His eyes hungrily scanned my body. I allowed my own eyes to travel skywards and turned around. As if, I silently tutted to myself.
I was seriously getting tired of men treating me like a piece of meat.
Who was I kidding on most days I craved attention. If a guy didn’t look my way then I was clearly not good enough and a hundred per cent ugly.
But then again, I still didn’t want to be treated as if all I was here for was the attention of men.
I was so confused.
Which wasn’t untypical of me.
I was almost always confused.
I really needed to stop allowing men’s opinions on me to give me some form of validation. I clearly needed to love myself a lot more.
I continued to cling onto the pole, attempting to hold myself up whilst the bus driver continued his practice for his next stunt job.
My body jerked and contorted in many different positions as I tried to cling on for dear life.
I really needed to start getting on the train. But the thought of the extra £3 odd pound I had to shell out brought me out in a bout of imaginary hives.
I just had to make it through the day and I would be free to do whatever I wanted for the rest of the week.
A tap to the shoulder broke me free of my positivity chant.
It was him.
I silently sighed and blinded him with my faux killowatt smile. I entertained him for the next 15 minutes as he went on about his toy car collection that he had been building since he had his first kids meal from McDonald’s when he first arrived in the country. I even hit him with some fake life stories of my own.
His number somehow found its way into my phone and mine into his. Why oh why did I feel compelled to give it to him. It was going straight into the block list. I really had to stop doing that.
Once my stop came up I bounded from my seat and without a word of goodbye I got off the bus.
I just had to make it through today I reminded myself. Just a few short hours and I was free.