19.04.18

Disappointment dripped through every pore.

I glanced up and painted a fake smile on my face.

“Thank you,” I said behind gritted teeth. “I really like it.”

He exhaled and took me into his arms.

“I’m so glad you do. I was really fretting about it. I was so scared you would hate it.”

Guilt began to replace the disappointment. He had tried so hard to impress me and here I was being an ungrateful bitch.

I picked it up and scanned over it.

Maybe I could learn to love it.

I should just give it some time, let it all sink it.

No, I couldn’t do it. It was terrible. It truly was the worst gift I had ever received. What made him think that I would ever like something like this?

I put it back in the box and placed it on the shelf.

I thanked him again as my mind turned to future plans of tossing it in the bin.

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19.04.18

I shake my head at how ridiculous you are. How little that you value yourself that you can let that piece of trash back into your life.

It’s always one step forward, five steps back with you.

All he has to say is a few sweet words and it’s hook, line, sinker.

I wish I could respect you, but it’s so hard to.

How many years have you already wasted on him? Why do you want to waste any more?

He obviously doesn’t feel for you the way that you feel for him, or he wouldn’t do the things he does.

How can you still love him?

I keep staring at myself in the mirror as I struggle to answer my own questions.