All I see is red!
No actually it’s not even red that I see, it’s actually black and not black in all it’s shiny glory but in all it’s hatred.
I have no good thoughts anymore. All I want to do is hate. No longer am I the girl with the big smile and love and hope in her eyes.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs that everyone should go to hell. I want to go and buy a pair of Doc Martens and a baseball bat and smash everything that I see. I want to jump on things until they are crushed beyond recognition. I want to pull the stuffing out of all of my teddy bears.
Yes I’m angry. Hello, I am a human right? Same way that you experience emotions I too also experience the same things. I am not inanimate, I do feel. Blood does course through my veins; my brain functions as normal, I am allowed to be angry.
I’m fuming! I’m raging!
What the fuck is the point of following the rules if you never come on top. This world belongs to the rule breakers. I want to be a rule breaker. I’m tired of being the nodding dog, accepting what comes my way.
I want to take my life back, I don’t want to be a puppet any more; a pawn in someone else’s game of chess.
I want to be released; feel the euphoria of being in control of my own destiny. Breaking free from the shackles that refrain me from becoming the person I want to be.
I want to… breathe.