Morning pages

The dreaded little chat.

There was no such thing as a little chat in this company.

It was always a big chat. Hidden under two small and barely significant words.

I got up from my chair. I could feel all the eyes in the room boating into me. I sea of whispers carried me as I walked across the room. 

I entered the meeting room and sat down. Zoe was sat across from me. She poured a glass of water.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

I shook my head, even though my dry throat was yelling at me to lull the burning fire that was slowly burning inside.

Derrick will be joining us in a second but I just wanted to have a little one on one before he comes in.

Who the hell was Derrick?!?

“So Amanda, how long have you been here? Two years if I’m not mistaken”

“Three,” I replied. The words coming out in a high pitched squeal.

“That’s a long time for someone to spend in customer care. Do you enjoy working here?”

Damn! They had found me out some way I don’t know how. Someone had found out that I hated my job!

But how? I made sure that I never left any digital trails of my distaste for my job. 

I never spoke to my colleagues or anyone close to work about it. I was living a lie.

“I love my job!” I responded way too over enthusiastically, “I love speaking to the customers, I get such a fulfilment knowing that I have helped someone.”


Wait what?! Did I just hear what I thought I heard.

“Excuse me?” I squeaked again.

“I said bullshit! You do not love this job. Nobody loves working in customer care. Admit it you hate it! You wanna tear the hair out of every customer you speak to.”

“No not at all,” I replied.

“Amanda this is a safe place. You can be honest with me. Look you’r not being fired!”

“Oh thank god” tears sprung out of my eyes. “I thought for sure you were going to fire me when I saw you in the bathroom earlier. You said you hated days like this.”

She laughed at me.

“Not at all you silly mare. Derrick will explain it all”.


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